The Emotionally Unavailable Man: A Blueprint for Healing (Paperback)
Product Description
The Emotionally Unavailable Man is two books in one one side is for the emotionally unavailable man and the other is for his partner. It details why men become emotionally unavailable and specifies the actions that can be taken by both men and women to realize improvement. MEN, do you ever feel like a little boy in a grown-up body? Like you have no personal power? Flip to the mens side of this book and let expert psychotherapist Patti Henry help you
Get your “power”
Stop avoiding difficult situations
Calm your partners anger
Learn how to say “No”
Set and maintain appropriate boundaries
Be more effective at work
Increase and enhance the sex in your relationship
Feel personal freedom and happiness
WOMEN, do you want your husband to be emotionally available to you? Flip to the womens side of this book and let expert marriage counselor Patti Henry help you
Determine if your partner is capable of being emotionally available
Decide what you can and cannot do to help
Discover how to lose your anger
Exercise mutuality and safety
Learn how to recognize and confront your own resistances
Restore hope about long-term change
Gain clarity about your future
About the Author
Patti Henry, M.Ed., L.P.C., has been a psychotherapist in private practice since 1988. She began her career developing womens programs in psychiatric hospitals, committed to empowering women. For the last ten years, however, her focus shifted when she observed how desperately men needed healing, as well. She lives in Houston with her husband and their two sons.
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Tags: Blueprint, Emotionally, Healing, Paperback, Unavailable
June 2, 2009 @ 1:32 pm
Thanks to Patti Henry for writing this book. It was not at all what I expected, but it was even better than I hoped for. I bought this book because I’m in a relationship that keeps me feeling confused all the time. I knew something was off, but I couldn’t figure out what the problem is or why he won’t commit. I decided the problem was him, not me, and I set out to find some answers. I came across this book and saw how good the reviews were. Well, come to find out, the problem is NOT all his fault, some of it is mine. The thing that suprised me about this book, besides it having two parts – 1 for men and 1 for women – is that it makes women get real about what role we are playing in the relationship. Ms. Henry cuts right to the chase and explains things very clearly. It was a real eye-opener about myself. And reading the men’s side gave me a totally different perspective on how my partner feels. I now see him as more of a whole person, with needs and feelings of his own. That doesn’t mean that his ambivalence doesn’t hurt (it still does), but I can better understand it now and not take it so personally. He won’t read the book, and I don’t know if we can stay together, but at least now I don’t feel so helpless and confused. And I have some tools to use for changing how I behave in relationships.
And if you have sons, this book is great for helping you understand and correct the reasons that cause boys to grow up into unavailable men. I am so grateful I found this book. Thank you, Ms. Henry!!
June 2, 2009 @ 2:28 pm
This book was a revelation … finally I understand why my husband behaves the way he does and why I respond to him the way I do … and why we kept engaging in such a futile dance on a daily basis. In a sense, it’s taken us both “off the hook”.
The bottom line is that this knowledge has empowered me. I have changed the way I respond to him. I no longer take his behaviour personally, but instead accept this as a universal problem with many, many men and not just with my man. He’s now reading the book and (for the first time with any book he’s read) said “it makes sense”.
Often self-help books make men feel inadequate. This book instead reinforces that the behaviour of the emotionally unavailable man is entirely normal in the circumstances. It acknowledges their fear and hesitancy whilst gently encouraging them to take tentative steps in overcoming their lifelong conditioning. It is a doable “blueprint for healing”.
I don’t want to be the “hurricane” (albeit a very quiet one) in my husband’s life. I love him, why would I want to hurt him or make him even more unavailable? Perhaps this book and the newfound patience it can engender in partners will lead to these men becoming much more available to us and others in their lives who are important to them. This is the first time I’ve actually been optimistic that this might be possible. Everybody wants to be understood, and this book takes a quantum leap in helping us to genuinely understand the emotionally unavailable man. Thank you sincerely Patti Henry.
Dividing the book into a men’s section and a women’s section was entirely apt. Partners absolutely need to be proactive in helping their man in his efforts to change. We need to be patient, encouraging and compassionate. We need to empathise. We need to leave our frustration in the past. These men are invariably in pain. They don’t shut themselves off happily … it’s self-preservation in its most basic form.
I sincerely believe this book should be recommended reading for every parent with a son. It would be a travesty if we created yet another generation of emotionally unavailable men. We all miss out on way too much in doing so.
June 2, 2009 @ 9:30 pm
I have recommended this book to so many people and they’ve all loved it. All of the men who I know who have read it have raved about it — and most guys I know don’t really get into “self-help” books.
What makes this book unique — besides a message that is all about how to have healthy relationships — is that it’s written for both men and women. One side of the book is “for men,” then flip it over and the other side is written for the women who love them.
Several times, I had to stop reading just to have a “lightbulb moment.” This book is fabulous.