He Only Comes To Me For Sex Never Intimacy?
My bf only comes to me to hug me etc when he wants sex. He grabs at me and suggests we go to bed and stuff.
He never comes over to me and just hugs me or tells me I’m pretty. He’s really putting me off sex now because he pesters me all day for sex then ignores me when i give in.
How can I tell him all I want is some affection sometimes? I have tried directly telling him but he just ignores me.
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Tags: Affection, bed, bf, Comes, grabs, hug, Never, Only, Romance & Intimacy, Sex & Eroticism
July 7, 2009 @ 7:19 am
All you really need to do is fart in his face.
July 7, 2009 @ 7:19 am
If he directly ignores you maybe you should consider your relationship.
To me it sounds like he just wants a piece, but that may or may not be the case.
I was in a similar relationship and eventually I discovered that sometimes you need to put yourself first and think of your feelings before his. Say no, and tell him if that’s all that he wants then he can leave. If he leaves, you know what he wants out of the relationship and you can deal with it however you think is appropriate.
Anyways I hope this helps you!
July 7, 2009 @ 7:19 am
1st of all I’m sorry this is happening to you.
Without going into moral precautions, which is a good opportunity to say this. It’s best to wait till marriage because during the time you date and are engaged it’s the time to learn intimacy. It’s like laying the foundation before You build a house. Some foundations are never tested they are the (couples) ones who will tell you it doesn’t matter. Matter, but all of us are different.
Your boyfriend sounds like a very passionate guy that needs to learn to consider the details in life. It takes two and maybe you are a bit laid back and aloof. Maybe it’s the only way he gets your attention is to pounce you. Perhaps you can take some Feminine control and learn to tease his desires by slowing things down and using your seductive skills to make him see sex begins in the mind.
If you don’t do your intimate homework on what makes “him” tick all the short cuts are going to run out and you will never really know each other. Sex is a shortcut that emulates closeness but is shallow.
July 7, 2009 @ 7:19 am
Men and women differ in their needs. Men, generally, prioritise having their sexual needs satisfied while women place more importance on affection. Some men can’t give affection without thinking that it will lead to sex. Sit him down and tell him you understand this but you have needs too which he should be wanting to meet if he really loved you. Try giving him some affection which will show him what you mean. Hopefully, he will be able to condition himself to be affectionate without it leading to anything.
July 7, 2009 @ 7:19 am
Yes, it would be interesting to find out how long you two have been a couple.
If you find that you are not happy with this guy, then you need to rethink the relationship. Are you having fun? Is he making time for you other than to get in your pants? Is he nice to you in front of your friends? Is he respecting you in front of your friends (his and yours)? Does he want to just sit and watch a movie and just be in your company?
If you’ve answered ‘No’ to one of these questions, I would considered rethinking long and hard about if this man, or I should say BOY, is worth your time.
Good Luck. Let us know how that works out for ya.
July 7, 2009 @ 7:19 am
How long you been with him? If its a new relationship well im guessing hes thinking more of it as “hey i got a girl, sex on tap!!” thing, but if this is a few years down the line, maybe hes having issues showing his emotions to you or hes thinking less of the relationship than before.
This coming from a mans point of view too….
July 7, 2009 @ 7:19 am
You need to tell him that. My BF IS affectionate, but even more “annoying” affectionate when he wants sex. I don’t get guys, why do they think, if they grab your breasts or rub your vagina through your pants, you’ll want to JUMP right into bed?
I say, stop the sex until he knows how to be affectionate and meet YOUR needs, not just HIS.
July 7, 2009 @ 7:19 am
Tell him: “Stop pawing on me”
Why don’t you test and see if he really loves you or not: stop having sex with him. If he gets grumpy and loses interest in you, that will confirm that you are just a good bang to him, and he will find someone new to screw in no time.
July 7, 2009 @ 7:19 am
This is the marriage and divorce section, not sure you are aware of that. But, to answer your question anyway, you can’t change someone. If you are so needy that you have to have a hug from this man then try initiating it. You sound a little immature to me.
July 7, 2009 @ 7:19 am
He is thinking of you as a toilet because you have allowed him to treat you like one. Break up with him, and when you are about to have a relationship with someone new, don’t lower your value like you’ve done with this one.
July 7, 2009 @ 7:19 am
I used to have to this problem and i found out the word No works. He still didn’t get the message. I gave in. I met someone new and the Nos seemed to just flow. The rest is history.
July 7, 2009 @ 7:19 am
Trade up to the equality model. It runs smoother and requires much less maintenance.
The point is, if he is going to treat you like an object, maybe that’s how he wants to be treated. Find someone who loves you for you.
July 7, 2009 @ 7:19 am
How about saying “I’m sick of being your sex toy. I’m dumping you”.
That ought to do the trick. Why stay with someone who obviously doesn’t respect you?
July 7, 2009 @ 7:19 am
Give him a taste of his own medicine ! Don’t open the door or pick up the phone next time.
July 7, 2009 @ 7:19 am
After 7 years, you are little more than a booty call.
Time to move on.
July 7, 2009 @ 7:19 am
Simply because that’s his only interest. If he truly cared, you wouldn’t need to keep reminding him. So WHY did you say he’s your bf?